All I Want For Summer Read online

  “Sorry,” a man replied, moving slightly quicker now. However, as he did, he jammed his knee into Holly’s hip and trod on her calf.

  The pain soared up her left side and ricocheted off her brain. “Ooowwwww! What the hell?”

  Perhaps this was why she’d never done camping before. Holly heard muffled groans from outside the tent.

  “Can you try to do it without standing on us, too?”

  “Sorry, I’m really sorry,” a male voice said. “We were looking for the loo and didn’t see your guide ropes. It’s really fucking dark out here.”

  “And it’s really fucking crushed in here,” Holly replied.

  Holy shit, her leg was killing her.

  “Trent, come on, get off the tent.” The tent was shaking as one of the apparently two men on top of it tried to move the other.

  “What the hell’s going on?” That was Trudi’s voice.

  “Can you help whoever is on our tent, off our tent,” Holly yelled, her voice now laced with desperation, the weight of the man still crushing into her like a boulder.

  Beside her, Tori was wincing and holding her side. “You okay?” Holly asked.

  Tori nodded grimly, lost for words.

  “One, two, three!” came Trudi’s voice from outside, and whoever had been lying on top of Tori was up.

  Tori rolled over, clutching her right side. “I hope my ribs aren’t buggered,” she said with a wince.

  “One, two, three!” said Trudi again, and Holly’s captor was righted. Holly sat up, rolling her shoulder and wincing in pain. Everything hurt, from her ankle to her cheekbone.

  Trudi poked her head in the tent. “You all okay in here?”

  Holly nodded, still clutching her arm, then rubbing her leg. She flexed her foot: all fine. She moved her leg — it hurt, but it was still moving, thankfully. “We’ll live.” Holly gave her girlfriend a kiss on the cheek before clambering to her knees, swearing again in pain, then crawling to the door of the tent.

  The men had been right, it was still pretty dark outside.

  One of them was less mobile than the other, sitting on the ground, his face illuminated by Trudi’s full-beam torch. He had a shock of ultra-blonde hair and looked dazed. His friend staggered when he went to walk, too. As Holly approached him, the stench of whisky on his breath almost knocked her out. She could just make out he was wearing a red hoodie.

  “Really sorry: we were on our way to the loo and your tent’s pretty small.”

  “Nothing to do with the booze you’ve drunk?” Holly was rubbing her shoulder and still wincing. Her body felt misaligned, not quite right.

  The man looked over at his friend. “We’re sorry — it’s just dark, man.” He grabbed his mate and forced him into a standing position. “I think it’s best we go.” And with that, the two of them staggered off into the night.

  “You’re going the wrong way for the toilets!” Holly shouted after them. If that’s where they had been headed, they should at least complete their journey.

  The man held up an arm, but when his friend lurched to one side, he hastily put it back under his arm to keep him upright.

  “Pillock,” Holly muttered, as Tori emerged from the tent, hugging herself.

  Holly put an arm around her, before turning to assess their tent, which was now severely lurching to one side. She shivered — 3.30am was not the warmest time on a Brighton clifftop, it turned out. Especially when you were dressed in only a T-shirt and shorts. Maybe she’d been right all along — camping and Pride were best avoided.

  “Fuck-a-doodle-doo, those tents poles don’t look happy.” Holly frowned as she assessed their tent. “So you know you said we should have got a bigger tent?”

  “Uh-huh,” Trudi replied.

  “I think you might be right.”

  “Or a hotel room,” Tori mumbled.

  Holly turned to her. “What happened to camping being romantic?”

  “That was before some idiots fell on us.”

  Trudi rubbed Tori’s shoulder and threw her a sympathetic smile. “Would you like to come into our tent tonight? There’s room, and if anybody falls onto us, they’ll just bounce off.”

  “Are you trying to get us to be polyamorous?” Holly asked, with the world’s tiniest smile. She was making jokes, despite everything — that really was a camping miracle.

  Trudi laughed. “You’re not my type, sweetheart.”

  “In that case, that would be brilliant. Just for tonight, then we can try to sort this mess out in the morning when we can see what we’re doing.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  The Babe Magnet float was an enormous single-storey lorry, and Trudi and Shauna’s team had done an amazing job with it. It was covered with the company logo and slogan, along with an enormous magnet in the middle and a bevy of babes on board. Masks had been given to most who’d agreed to help, so when Tori had got on half an hour ago, she’d come face to face with Pink, Ruby Rose, Madonna and Cara Delevingne. Now the float was on the move, the crowd were going wild for it. All things considered, there were worse things that could happen to a lesbian on a Saturday lunchtime.

  “All going okay?” Tori shouted, nudging Trudi with her hip as she approached her from behind. Trudi was standing next to DJ Shauna at the back of the float, who was already pumping out the tunes with a thumping bassline. To her right, Madonna was getting the crowd worked up, arms in the air. That she was also wearing a pair of gold hotpants wasn’t doing any harm, either.

  Trudi nodded. “Going great, and look at this crowd — isn’t it incredible?”

  Tori had to admit it was — being part of the parade was giving her Pride goosebumps. From their higher vantage point, the entire seafront was awash with sunshine, rainbows and goodwill. To her right, the sea winked like a nervous date, and on both sides, the pavements were clogged with well-wishers and party-goers getting in the mood for the day. Tori had only ever been to London Pride before; Pride by the sea was something else.

  “It’s awesome.” Tori pointed down the float to where Holly was standing, arms above her head, clapping and whooping to the music. “Whisper it, but I think my girlfriend might just be enjoying herself at Pride.”

  “She’s over last night, then?”

  Tori nodded. “I talked her round this morning. You can’t let a couple of drunken idiots derail your weekend, can you?”

  “Nope. Plus, I’ve got some tequila to ensure the vibe stays on a certain level,” Trudi replied, winking.

  “You are the hostess with the mostess,” Tori replied. “And this is definitely the best float. Where did you get the giant model of a magnet?” Tori glanced up, admiring the structure which was at least 10-foot high, an inflatable female doll sitting astride it.

  “Mate of Shauna’s did it for us — I love it!”

  “And my next question: when did you get all these ladies to agree to wear celebrity masks and hotpants? Did I miss that memo?”

  “You might have.” Trudi grinned at her old friend. “But I’ve got a mask if you want one?” She reached around the DJ stand and came up with Ellen DeGeneres and Clare Balding. “You and Holly can fight over who you want to be.”

  Tori gave her a look. “She doesn’t have a choice — I’m Ellen.” She set off down the float, past Ruby Rose and Cara DeLevingne, who were both blowing Babe Magnet whistles and grinding their hips for the crowd. When she got to Holly at the front, the grin plastered on her girlfriend’s face was a sight to behold. She fished her phone from her pocket and snapped Holly unawares, before snaking an arm around her waist, which drew a cheer from the crowd.

  “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were in danger of having fun.”

  Holly shook her head and put on a mock frown. “Never. I’m hating the adulation of this crowd. Absolutely hating it.” She gave Tori a grin and a wink, before planting a kiss on her lips. “So tell me: why have we never done this before?”

  “Because we’ve never known anyone with a float before.” Tori squeezed
her waist again. “Are you really enjoying it? I was worried you were going to sulk after last night.”

  Holly smiled. “I thought about packing up, but that would be defeatist. Besides, we promised Shauna and Trudi, and I’m having a new experience, like you told me.” Holly swept her arm in grand circle. “You know why I hate Pride, but today is making me see it differently.”

  “Good. You can’t hold on to the fact your ex cheated on you once at Pride to avoid all Prides, forever.” Tori paused. “That’s like having one bad grilled cheese sandwich, and then avoiding all grilled cheese sandwiches forever more. You wouldn’t do that, would you?”

  “I’m not a masochist,” Holly said, laughing. “But I get what you’re saying. And look, I’m dancing on a float, isn’t that enough?”

  “You’re the original hula-girl,” Tori replied, holding out the Clare Balding mask. “And now you can be the original hula-sports presenter.”

  Holly looked at the mask, then back at Tori. “Really? We’re wearing masks?”

  Tori grinned. “We are. I’m Ellen, you’re Clare Balding. I can’t wait for them to kiss — it’s going to cause such a scandal.”

  “Poor Portia and Alice,” Holly said, fixing the mask over her head. “Come on then, Ellen, give me your best shot.”

  Tori pulled down her mask, then pulled Holly towards her for a full-on cardboard smooch.

  The crowd screamed for more.

  ***

  It didn’t matter which direction Holly looked — every which way, the parade was awash with sparkly, rainbow-flecked happiness. She couldn’t remember feeling this much love at Pride before, and she knew why she hadn’t, too: her ex, Jen. Because of her, Holly’s lifelong ambition had been to avoid Pride, but it was getting harder and harder these days. And today, here she was, embracing it. Perhaps now, the voodoo would be laid to rest, and she could get on with enjoying Pride like everyone else. She was certainly trying.

  Tori appeared at her side, interrupting her thoughts. Holly had her mask hoisted on top of her head and she was contemplating taking it off all together: even though it was only cardboard, it was too hot to wear for long.

  Tori held up a roll of Babe Magnet stickers and a bag of branded keyrings. Her mask was on her head, too, and sweat glistened on her face. She looked adorable.

  “You ready to give these out and be chirpy?” Tori asked, shaking the bag.

  “On-brand, I know — I got the message from Trudi enough this morning.”

  “Perfect, then.” Tori got on her tip-toes and gave Holly a kiss. “These masks are so damn hot — you going to keep yours on?”

  “I was wondering the same.” Holly shrugged. “Maybe for the next ten minutes, then when I start drooping, I’ll take it off.”

  Holly let Tori jump down first when the parade came to a temporary stop, then she followed, sweat running down her back. She flipped the mask down and got to work stickering the crowd, and giving out keyrings to excitable women. One thing Holly learned: people love getting free things — even stickers. One woman screamed so loudly in her ear, she had to take a step backwards.

  Holly was just finishing putting a sticker on another, thankfully less audible woman when she turned and bumped into a doctor from the medical float in front of them, who was also giving out freebies — but his were first-aid guides. Far more practical than Holly’s Babe Magnet keyrings, but slightly less fun.

  “Sorry!” Holly said, from behind her mask. “Bit tricky seeing where you’re going with this on.”

  The doctor shook his head, giving Holly a smile. “No worries,” he said, in an accent she picked as Australian. “Would you like a first-aid guide?”

  “I’d love one,” she lied. “I would offer you a Babe Magnet sticker, but I don’t think it’d get you very far.”

  The man laughed. “Not really my cup of tea.” He turned. “However, my colleague here would love one, wouldn’t you?”

  Holly got a keyring ready as the man snagged the arm of his co-worker, a woman almost the same height as Holly, with a figure and hair the same colour of Holly’s ex, Jen.

  And then the woman turned to face Holly, and that’s when Holly realised why the woman had the same hair and stature as Jen. Because the woman was Jen. Jen who’d broken her heart at Pride. Jen, her university love. The relationship was ultimately doomed because all along, Holly’s heart had belonged to Tori. But still, Jen was the reason Holly hated Pride. And now here she was, back at Pride and standing in front of Holly.

  Really?

  Holly stopped breathing and stared, her skin prickling, her heartbeat slowing down like a wind-up toy in need of a boost. Her words had stalled and her mouth was dry. She was so over Jen, it was seven years ago.

  But still.

  Seeing her after all this time threw her off, made her trip over her own thoughts and emotions. Holly was still holding out the keyring, her hand paused mid-air, and Jen was still smiling at her like she didn’t know her. Why wasn’t Jen reacting in the same way she was? Why the hell was she being so cool when all Holly wanted to do was turn and run, because honestly, no good could possibly come from this. Ever.

  “Great name, Babe Magnet. And I love the magnet model on the float. Really cool.” Jen was simply chatting to Holly like she didn’t know her. Like she hadn’t run over her heart at uni. Like Pride seven years ago never happened at all. How could she be so cool? “And Clare Balding is my absolute favourite, by the way,” Jen added. “Although you’re a little taller than you look on TV.”

  Of course. The mask. That’s why Jen was acting so casual — because she didn’t know it was Holly. As far as Jen was concerned, she was chatting to a Clare Balding-alike, and nothing more.

  And then Jen flashed her grin. That grin. The grin Holly had fallen for all those years ago. The grin that had started the ball rolling down the hill, towards the fatal Pride from which they never recovered. That ruddy grin. Seven years on, and that grin could still cause trouble. And Holly had no doubt it still did.

  And now Holly had to respond, had to hand over the keyring, had to act like this was a totally natural transaction. But as soon as she opened her mouth, Jen would know, wouldn’t she? They’d only been together a year, but it was enough to bruise Holly, to make her wary of ever trusting another woman again. As soon as she opened her mouth, Jen would know it was her.

  So she gave over the keyring, their hands touching briefly. Holly’s stomach dropped on contact and she flinched. Had Jen noticed? She wasn’t sure, as the eye holes on her mask meant she only had tunnel vision. And then guilt drenched her as if she were standing under a shower of it and it was dripping from her every extremity. Even standing next to Jen, she felt as if she was being unfaithful to Tori.

  She had to say something, which meant she had to reveal herself. So, with the cheers of the parade drowned out by her heartbeat thundering in her ears, Holly moved the mask up over her face and onto the top of her head.

  And then Jen noticed who she was. Now it was her turn for her mouth to drop open and simply stare.

  Beat.

  “Hi,” Holly said eventually, wanting to take the upper hand in this one.

  “Holly.” Pause. Jen was still processing, still gobsmacked.

  Holly was glad that seeing her flummoxed Jen just as much as the other way around.

  “We meet again. At Pride.” Holly was determined to control the conversation. To let Jen know she still remembered.

  But Jen’s face showed no great reaction. She simply nodded. “We do,” she said, now getting her voice back, shaking her head. “Who would have thought?” Pause. “You’re looking well.” Jen’s gaze raked Holly’s tall frame.

  Holly felt goosebumps break out all over her body. “You, too,” she replied.

  “What’s it been? Six years?”

  “Seven.”

  Jen whistled through her teeth. “Time flies.” She nodded at nothing in particular. “So is this your float?” She studied her keyring more closely. “Babe Magnet.
Nice name.”

  Holly shook her head, concentrating on her breathing. Slow and steady, that’s what was called for. “It’s a friend of mine’s — me and Tori are helping out on the float.”

  “You and Tori! Of course it’s you and Tori, just like always. How is she?”

  Holly nodded her head. Stay calm, you’re in control of this. You’re not 21 again. There’s absolutely no need to panic. No need at all. “She’s good. Really good.” Holly hesitated. “Actually—”

  “—Jen, you coming? The float’s way up the street. We should catch up.” Jen’s colleague who’d originally introduced them was tapping Jen’s shoulder.

  “Yeah, give me a minute,” Jen said, turning to the man, before turning back to Holly. “It’s lovely to see you. Might see you around later? And say hi to Tori for me.” She paused, looking Holly in the eye. “You’re looking great, seriously. Even with the Clare Balding mask.” Jen held her gaze for a moment, before giving Holly a wink and following her colleague up the street.

  Holly watched her go, her heart still pounding, but Jen never looked back. She just walked away, because Jen was good at that. Leaving Holly standing in the middle of the parade, whistles and cheers all around, but now with a single dark cloud looming over her head.

  So much for Pride being one happy love-in. How could it possibly be now Jen was here? Holly shook her head, then looked around for Tori. She couldn’t see her — she guessed she was nearer their float. Holly took a deep breath and began jogging along the parade, not bothering with stickers now, every step bringing her closer to Babe Magnet. Unfortunately, every step was now also bringing her closer to Jen, too.

  And that was the last place in the world she wanted to be.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  It took them another hour to reach the park, which was heaving by the time they arrived. A riot of people and colours was scattered around the massive space, along with fairground rides, stalls, dance tents and bars. The ground was dusty underfoot just like the campsite, and everywhere Tori looked, bare flesh of all shades and states of sun-distress was on show.